Not Pregnant

Well we are not pregnant.  Mother Nature paid a little visit the weekend on Oct 2..Charlie and I were at Raleigh for Elizabeth and John's wedding.  I am not as disappointed as I thought I would be. It only gave me more hope to try for the next month.  It was only the uncertainty that drove me crazy.  If God felt that it was time for us to have a baby, then it would have happened.  For now, I will just enjoy all the babies in the nursery and my friends' babies.

Still waiting...

I was supposed to have a little visit with Mother Nature the week of Sept 13-19.  But lo and behold, this has not happened yet. GASP! Trust me, I have done my fair share of pregnancy tests. I should buy stocks in Pregnancy Tests.  They have all tested negative. 

My nursing friends - who are all moms for the most part - tell me that if I don't follow the directions EXACTLY as the pregnancy test states, then it could be a false negative.  Heather - told me that I had to look real closely at the result.  She said that the extra line could be so faint that it could have been missed.  Yes, I actually went home last night and "fished" the test out of the trash. No extra lines.

I know I have plenty of time to have a baby. It's not that really.  To me, the worse part is the NOT KNOWING.  I don't understand why I haven't started my period yet.  I have been regular since I was on birth control and even before that.  I am like a child.  If I want something, I WANT IT NOW. If I want to know something, I WANT TO KNOW NOW.

Also, I would like to know if I am pregnant, so that I can even make more efforts in keeping myself healthy. For ex: WORK.  I am constantly straining my body to lift, push, pull patients at work.  I'm sure this is not conducive to a safe pregnancy.  I'm also on my feet for most of the duration -whether it's 4, 6, or 12 hrs.  I want to be able to take it a little easier at work so that I don't hurt my future baby. I guess I could do that now, but the workaholic in me refuses to do so.

I guess I will wait a couple more weeks. If Mother Nature does not visit, then I will call my physician.  In the mean time, I will wait.

Anticipation

Less than a week now to find out if we are pregnant. I'm become a woman obsessed. I'm scrutinizing every little symptom that I have to determine if I am pregnant. I need to get a grip and realize that God has a plan for me. When HE believes it is time then I will get pregnant. I feel so selfish at times thinking that I could get pregnant in a month, when I have close friends who's had a hard time getting pregnant. I guess all I can do is wait. Wait patiently for a miracle to happen.

Some symptoms I have been scrutinizing since mid Aug:

1. Frequent urination - I have been peeing a lot lately.  But this could be the fact that I'm drinking a ton of water in efforts to get healthier. 
2. I have been real dizzy and lightedheaded even without doing anything. This is a sign of pregnancy but I'm not getting my hopes up.
3. I've felt weird little tugs and pangs in my belly. Is it gas?? Could be..LOL.


These are the only symptoms I've had.  No nausea or vomiting. No breast tenderness.. Because I'm so weird, I even took two pregnancy tests.  Sept 9 and Sept 11 - Both negative.  So needless to say, I will probably get my period this week and it will be a major disappointment. 


 "Que Sera Sera". 

Aug 30, 2009 Measurements - Prepregnancy (excuse the disheveled hair. this is a post workout picture)

Weight: 112 lbs

Waist Measurement: 29.5 in

Changes

Aug 27, 2009 - First day of getting a patient assignment in clinicals. I held a newborn in my arms as it cried. My heart actually ached. Wow.

I've made some changes in my diet and habits to prepare for a baby.

1. I'm going on three weeks of no caffeine. This is one of the hardest things to break but I have not slipped not one time. Not even a sip. I no longer drink coffee to stay awake and study for tests or for class. For those that know me and my sleepy habits, this is VERY TOUGH. I've made sure to make use of my time wisely and sleep early to get a good night's rest.
2. I've been taking Prenatals for about 2 months now. I hate big pills; they make me gag. But I've grown accustomed to these also.
3. I'm drinking a lot of water. I'm not a fan of water, but I've found that mixing water and Crystal Light is tolerable.
4. I'm trying to exercise more consistently. However, with my schedule this has been near to impossible. I want to carry a baby with no problems and have a much smoother delivery.
5. I'm eating more fruits and vegetables.
6. I've lessened my sweets and candy intake. For those that know me, this is also an achievement. I am or I thought I was addicted to sweets after every meal. Apparently not.

Preparing for a good pregnancy will be very beneficial for baby and myself. Although these seem like small accomplishments, I am proud to have started them with the intentions of my future baby's health in mind.

Baby Jacob Reed Nicholson

Charlie and I visited my good friend Jenny after our trip to the beach.  She lives in SC so she was on the way home.  We were soo excited to see Baby Jacob Reed.  He was born on Aug 3, 2009 and absolutely gorgeous! It was so great to see and catch up with Jenny. She was tired that day because Jacob didn't sleep good the night before but she looked great. 

Jenny, Jacob, and I

Jacob and I

Sleepy Jacob

Charlie and little Jacob

It was so cute watching Charlie hold Jacob. He hasn't held many infants.  He was so cute trying to hold him properly!!
 

1st Clinical Day

Hello to all but no one in particular. No one knows of this blog but Charlie and me. Today was the first day of our Maternal Child clinical rotation. This entire day has not only fueled my desire to have a baby, but also helped to make a big decision. I have decided to NOT purchase another set of birth control!! So, if a miracle happens, we could be pregnant by the end of May or early June!!

There are friends that oppose this idea. They say it is too soon after I graduate. They say that I need to focus on boards. Yes this is very true. However, my gut tells me that if I just trust in God, then everything should happen as it should. I can't describe how I feel right now. I am sure that this is how most mothers feel right before they decide they want their first child. It is a strong need that I cannot deny no matter how hard I try.

This semester is not helping either. All our lectures will be based on pregnancy and babies. I thought that maybe seeing the labor delivery dvds or seeing all that could go wrong with a pregnancy would make me rethink. But I honestly think that it makes me want to do it more. I know that I am strong enough and willing enough to go through pregnancy during nursing school. I expect it to be tiring and stressful. I look forward to the long nine months and look forward to the long and very painful delivery. I know that Charlie and I will be part of a little miracle and that totally blows my mind. I mean .. a little person grows inside of YOU and then comes out of YOU!! Double WOW! :0)

So for now, I will quit babbling because I have to do schoolwork. Maybe it will be soon that we will be pregnant and our loved ones will know and read this website. But until then, we will all leave everything in God's hands.


In the meant time I will continue to breathe and be as stress-free as I can be....
Just breathe Gina..